We care about everything and everyone, constantly. One minute theyre up, the next theyre down, they love you, they hate you. If you feel like youre starring in the latest crime drama and are stuck in a confession room rather than having a catch up with your friend or partner, then it sounds like youre dealing with someone who has an intense personality. Having such a strong personality is usually OK, but we must be self-aware of what we are. Some people are outgoing, but others are incredibly fearful. A relationship is all about give and take, and a successful one will have you feeling like you both support each other equally. Aka., we feel everything intensely. Maybe youre around someone like that, and its just too stressful for you. Thank you! Dont expect others (even those who love you) to get you all the time. It wasnt until I had a call with a healer who told me that I do things so harshly. You mean what you say and say what you mean. In this segment, the MakingChips team looks at the signs of bein. Its usually not a cause for concern, although you may need to adjust your parenting approach to better align with your childs intensity. Intensity in children can also relate to mood, though. I was more like a librarian than anything. Some people just cant stop; they seem to be juggling a million things while you can barely tell Netflix to continue playing.. Maybe once you were quick to let people in, but early experiences of betrayal or abuse have made you more cautious. Narcissists can be either sex, but they're more likely to be men. Otherwise these characteristics can be taken as a positive dose to my personality. Its ok to need to take a step back from someone if youre finding them a bit intense, but its best to watch out for the signs before you start to feel too emotionally and physically exhausted. Often overthink things. I agree. So you assume others want the same. However, I think I may come to it from a different perspective. The intense person resents the very existence of small talk. Being an intense person can be a challenge for friends and partners to understand, and as such intense people usually have a very small social circle of friends they truly trust. We have a strong spiritual streak. Were drawn to philosophies and paths that can seem pretty out there to the everyday person. Either way, too much negativity too often can be exhausting for the both of you. It was my own shadow that I couldnt even see in myself but I knew there was something that I was doing that didnt make me feel like the other gals. Think divorce, sex lives, religion, politics, mental illness, hemorrhoids :). Growing up, most of us heard adults talk about the right way to communicate and express ourselves. 12/11/2020 12:49. how to soften an intense personality. Some people just cant lose an argument, and being on the other side of that can be seriously intense. Having an Intense Personality and Spiritual Awakening To be an intense person means that you'll likely experience some of the following feelings, desires, and behaviors: You have a tremendous inner drive (or 'fire') You're sincere You're devoted You're interested in truth (some people may be uncomfortable with your brutal honesty) If its a relationship, it might be time to re-evaluate. 13 Signs The Relationship Is Over For Him, 109 Best Appreciation Messages To Show Gratitude, The Ultimate Love List: 365 Reasons Why I Love You, 11 Effective Exercises For Letting Go Of Resentment, Letter to Your Daughter: 13 Heartfelt Sentiments to Consider, 13 Best Ways To Deal With A Disrespectful Grown Child, 147 Powerful Morning Affirmations To Start Your Day. Here are a few things you might be wondering: To respond to the following two questions, you may be extra to individuals who are not as intense. Your depth and giftedness make you feel (and seem to others) like an old soul who is wise beyond your years. What pearls of wisdom can you offer to those just like you who are struggling with this trait? It has been tough at times but learning to be in the moment has helped but it isnt that easy since the mind is going full bore all the time. And if youre an intense person, this trait can help you too. I talked to my therapist about this. Those lions (stressors) are your emails, your spouse, your inlaws, your health, your kids, travel, etcand anything else that stresses you out during the day. Kids have seemingly endless energy and are still learning social cues and proper social behavior. Your entire personality appears more aggressive or at least harsher to them. When others find us too extra, dramatic, weird, or fierce, it can feel tempting to play small and hide. There were a few other instances I remember this feeling. It also means youre more of an open book. but since most of us werent (myself included), thank you for pointing out the importance for us to teach to ourselves as adults. You use intense language. I receive a commission if you choose to purchase anything after clicking on them. However, those rules are frequently challenging to implement. You enjoy discussing matters of significance with people and are competent in debating your case. how to soften an intense personality. They might not even realize theyre getting too intense and appreciate you being honest with them. Im talking about when someone gets serious all the time. Big hugs love and congrats for taking this step in your journey. These types of people thrive on the pressure a busy schedule gives them and need the intensity of a crammed life to keep going. The thing with dramatic people is that they are well dramatic. If you struggle expressing your own, it could be a good opportunity for you to talk about why you find it hard to share these feelings with other people. Signs Of An Intense Person. Thats a special task, but it can often seem exhausting. An intense person has to push the boundaries of conformity and they challenge or question traditions, especially those that seem unfair or meaningless. And I was like.OMG. . But while having an intense personality might not be approved by society (the scientific name is being extra), its actually a gift in disguise. You have a particular aversion to willful ignorance in others. With these kinds of people, its best to try to avoid engaging in any kind of debate or argument. That is the goal, after all. It was mind blowing and life changing. An Intense Person has Emotional Depth and Passion You have always been an 'old soul'. 8. So, one question generally leads to ten more. Stevens's murder was the result of a deep-seated and intense hatred. Intense personality is related to high sensitivity and other traits. Deep empathy and sensitivity 3. how to soften an intense personality Describe their mouth, nose, brow, chin and ears. Over the past few days I read through many of your posts and am shocked to how much I feel I can relate to similar issues you must have gone through. After all, youd rather know the whole truth, even if it hurts. 16. Here's how to tell if you're an intense person. They developed a scale for its detection. 2. 26. I grew up with the mentality of When the going gets tough, the tough get going. When someones interests are centered around just one thing, it occupies the bulk of their time and thoughts, and can become wearing for an outsider. One of your greatest delights is in learning more about things that matter to you. As a Christian, I believe we are created with a purpose and our Creator intends for us to seek Him and trust Him in every situation. 4. Comment below! What I Know About Anger. Have a hard time relaxing and don't know how to take it easy. While this approach may get the work . If you have an intense person on the team, you can feel good knowing theyll likely pour themselves into the project on hand. Emotional depth and passion 2. We want to spend all day, every day, with our loved ones. It means that you can access areas that those with a soft personality do not have. 7. It appalls you when someone is content to remain ignorant. how to soften an intense personality. Therefore the norms may be more challenging to reach for others. 6. 29. These include being excited, feeling fearful, being happy, and experiencing despair all in quick succession. 1) You ask too many questions Because you like to understand things at a deeper level, you are naturally curious. You have seen people take in your caring and benefit from your support. There are 12 signs that indicate you have an intense personality: #1 You Speak With Conviction When an individual with an intense personality is categorically convinced that he's picked the best course of action, people who follow him unknowingly absorbs this belief and the accompanying emotional state. They also respond back with an emotional reaction e.g crying, feeling guilty, apologizing, etc. Some people are extroverts, while others are painfully shy. We live with our motto "Skills Up. 2. You are deeply about everything! 6. Hi Mindy, By clicking "subscribe" you agree to receive emails from Amie Valpone and accept our privacy policy and cookies policy. Nothing comes out of your mouth that you dont mean. #2 You're Willing To Make Sacrifices You dont need attention from others to enjoy yourself. If you cant seem to have a normal, emotionally-neutral conversation with them anymore or you feel pressured into sharing when you arent comfortable doing so, its worth addressing this or taking a step back from the situation. 4. If half of these makes you excruticiatingly intense whayt dpes it mean if every single point hits home. You must learn to flex your communications style. Your email address will not be published. However, there are some strong personalities that the adults in your life may have told you about them since you were young. She now volunteers within the community sport sector, helping young people to live healthier, more productive lifestyles and overcome the barriers to inclusion that they face. Thank for your post on softening ourselves. Most intense people are driven by a need to find their purpose, and to achieve the goals they set out to. Your powerful thought processes, intuition, and perceptions allow you to see things more quickly and clearly than most. May your growing self-knowledge enrich and strengthen all your relationships. The Psychotherapist Imi Lo defines emotional intensity as 'a form of neurodiversity that is most often misunderstood by our culture.' It means feeling things deeply, ricocheting between highs and lows, and experiencing emotions in profoundly intense ways that other people cannot feel. You expect the same of them. INTJs are not casual people. Has anyone ever told you youre too intense? My view of an intense personality is one who is intent upon issues, and focused on either solving a problem, or sharing an issue that compels them greatly. These four core characteristics describe the way this personality type navigates through life. 10 Top Secrets Of The Type C Personality You Need to Know, The Proof Is In: 101 Things That Are Guaranteed to Make You Smile. Some would describe you as clingy. The way you see it, life is just better when your besties are near. Watch out for loud, fast talkers who, even if they ask you a question, never seem to draw breath long enough to hear your answer. Always consult your doctor or health care provider. xox. Psychology Today: Health, Help, Happiness + Find a Therapist we should all be taught this as children. You can email me and work with me as a client and I direct my clients to all the healers. You can be carried away by something beautiful to the point of feeling enraptured. This page contains affiliate links. how to soften an intense personality. Intense people do not need or even desire an easy route to success. Emotional intensity occurs with people who feel things differently they almost absorb the emotions of the people around them, which helps them feel as if they can relate to others. Our eye contact is intense. Much love, You are a thinker who is both inventive and complicated. 7. When I was in 7th grade I was at a soccer pasta party before one of our big games and all the girls were getting into the hot tub in their pretty bikinis and long legs and I was in an awful sporty Speedo and my body was so muscular and short and I was so embarrassed. To view the purposes they believe they have legitimate interest for, or to object to this data processing use the vendor list link below. As an Amazon Associate, we earn from qualifying purchases. You are unconcerned with what others think of you. Emotionally intense people have a capacity for compassion, empathy, and sensitivity in relationships, they show strong emotional attachments to people, places, and . Just because someone is intense doesnt mean you should avoid them, but its best to know what youre getting into. One of the most complicated parts about having an intense personality is that many people conflate intense people with intimidating people. 9 Adorable Traits of a Vibrant Personality: Is This You. always be on the go and needs to be busy all the time. There are alpha personalities, type A personalities, type B personalities, and complex people, too. These are some common signs of an intense person-. One can be intensely involved with their work, avocation or relationships but not absorbed in it at the expensive of other issues, or focused on themselves as in "needy". Intense, quirky people tend to attract other intense, quirky people. Intense is used to describe something that is very great or extreme in strength or degree. 6. Manage Settings Feeling lost, confused, or alone? You hate ignorance and unexamined assumptions. If you want it to work, sometimes its best to pick your battles and know when to agree to disagree. Most intense people know their behavior is unhealthy, stated Marty Nemko Ph.D. They simply cant control themselves any more than a laid-back person can make themselves driven.. Prolonged Eye Contact- Means long lasting eye contact between partners or between potential love interest. At this point, youre probably asking a few questions: All valid questions. Because you have put time and effort into using your brain for good, you hate it when people make instant judgements about things they do not know anything about. You have a lot of inner drive (or fire). Uncategorized. An intense person chooses words carefully to express their thoughts with lots of emotions. Being intense may just be in your nature. These characteristics may benefit you and your journey of personal development and change. They excel at interpersonal skills because of their compassion and depth of feeling. Youve already achieved the first step in acknowledging it. We crave meaningful conversations. We use intense language and speak with conviction that can make others uncomfortable. Most of us grew up listening to adult lectures about the correct way to speak and express ourselves. You have always been an 'old soul'. Youre open-minded about new ideas and experiences. Dont get me wrong: if this is how you are right now, it is OK. Yes, kids can be a lot to handle. When someone mentions an intense child, thats often due to the childs energy level more than their actual personality. Make sure, if you know someone like this, that they arent asking too much of you. Why? Few though they may be, theyre your tribe. If they arent your go to because you never know what mood theyll be in or you cant trust that they wont turn something into a drama, then its time to evaluate the influence they are having on your life and what, if any, positive impact they bring. This article reminds me that Ive grown over the years as well as I can continue to develop. Negative impacts for those with intense personalities include depression, being unable to cope with anxiety and sadness, and obsessive behaviors. You dont see any value in having banal or pointless conversations, even for playful banter. To heal them and to heal myself. You might be able to handle a conversation like this once in a while, but if this is everyday life for you, youre going to wind up resentful of the attention they are demanding from you but not giving back in return. Overthinking and a tacit sensitivity to emotional overload makes more intense people more exposed to feelings of anxiety. Im committed to being more direct with my needs. Maybe you already suspect as much, but youre not sure exactly what it means to have an emotionally intense personality. She is the author of hundreds of popular articles, as well as numerous books and journals on the topics of Self-Love, Spiritual Awakening, and more. People engaged in this type of eye contact are hard to interrupt. Thank you Loren! As a busy manufacturing leader, there's a chance that you can be a bit too intense at times. Is envious of others. You admit your faults. Your heart is on your sleeve. Mincing words just feels icky. Your intensity doesnt always manifest as aggression, but you dont back down from a fight or an argument. Like anything, emotional intensity has a positive and negative side. Somatic Bodywork: 7 Types For Deep Healing, 7 Vagus Nerve Exercises For Nervous System Healing, How to Begin a Spiritual Journal (Start Here! Dont expect others (even those you love) to always understand you. Couldnt we get together for lunch sometime.she needs a mentor like you. Strong personalities are the result of being thoughtful and well-informed. If youd like to embrace who you are more, heres some guidance: Do you have an intense personality? Sure, theyve heard that mellow people are easier to be around, but they dont mind being over the top. 5. I went . However, as long as were self-aware about what we project, being an intense personality is typically OK. 11. This is also why at 40 or 50 dying your hair back to your 'natural' colour may no longer suit you - your skin has lost the intensity that worked well with that natural colour you had at aged 20, your current natural colour is the colour of your hair as it grows from your head. And they dont see a point in even trying to. This is typically the lovey dovey stare you see between two people in movies. My practice as a hatha yoga teacher helped me with that and so much more. Some are more quietly intense while others are loud and proud of their passionate natures. And then there are intense personalities a type the grown-ups in your life may have been cautioned against becoming when you were a child. If youre a person who experiences impassioned, fervent, frenzied, vehement, and agonizingly ardent emotions youre probably an intense person. For someone who is emotionally intense, however, the pain that comes with a pervasive sense of being too much is not to be taken lightly. An intense single person will not be looking for a casual lover and will be seeking their soul mate who understands them. Allow All Cookies. You ask a LOT of questions because you have a deep and overwhelming desire to understand things, ideas, and people to their core. Intensity can be a force for good, said Nemko. by | Jun 16, 2022 | costco dollywood tickets | oklahoma city arts festival 2021 | Jun 16, 2022 | costco dollywood tickets | oklahoma city arts festival 2021 Know when to steer clear of a touchy subject or let something go before you get frustrated trying to make them listen to a point of view they dont want to hear. Its not a flaw in your make-up. You see the world with depth and complexity. Its so easy to get swept up in the whirlwind of it all that you could miss the signs that things are too intense. You speak with conviction and without fear. You will discover 3 distinct approaches of taming a strong personality in the following paragraphs. Ill explain why and how. And those who see what youre like and cant handle it are free to move on. Just as your words are direct and expressive, so is your gaze. However, being fully aware of any potential setbacks will make the diagnosis much easier to handle. Sometimes months. how to soften an intense personality. This can make the person feel extremely flattered or extremely uncomfortable. Helping the "Emotionally Intense Person" As someone who contributes to the well being of others, you've likely enjoyed contributing to many. What took me a week when I was younger, now takes 50 m at the most. x. Hi Amie, If the person is your manager you will take a similar approach as talking with a peer - point out the conduct, the impact it has on you and request that it stop. And you resent being told you shouldnt feel as much because theyre not real. Theyre real to you. 15. An example of data being processed may be a unique identifier stored in a cookie. 4. document.getElementById( "ak_js_2" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); The content on this website is not, nor is it intended to be, a substitute for diagnosis, professional medical advice or treatment and should never be used for specific medical advice. Thank you for reading. Sometimes we plan to do or say something weeks in advance. How did I not realize this the last 34 years? Taking things slow isnt a bad thing, and if it feels like things are getting too intense too quickly in a relationship, then they probably are. 13. If its not worth blood, sweat, and drama, its not worth their time. Youve learned to accept yourself as you are and not to sweat the uninformed opinions of those whose expectations you dont meet. 5 Traits Of An Emotionally Intense Person 1. xox. If you have found any comfort, support or guidance in our work, please consider donating: document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); I'd like to receive your latest weekly newsletter! She said, you brush your teeth too hard, you brush your hair too hard, etc. You can look back at it, reread and if you still feel the same anxiety, then confide in a friendmake sure it's in a relaxed environment. 21. We dont like having big social networks they dilute our intensity too much. I played varsity sports and I was a little warrior trying to make my parents proud of me by being tough and strong. 1. No, were not ashamed of it. Sometimes, a child acting moody may lead someone to label them as intense.